I am frequently asked this question and not surprised because this is something many people, including myself (many years back) experienced and found extremely frustrating. There is a logical explanation for this and a comfortable way to deal with it, or I should say, eliminate it.
When someone has a negative experience in a certain place, it leaves a strong impression on the memory. Therefore, whenever the person thinks about going there, memory is quick to remind them about the last negative and uncomfortable feelings. It comes back very clearly and with all the body sensations to boot.
This makes sense but does not help you get back in the shower comfortably. I know what this feels like and how just thinking about going back in, triggers all the intrusive symptoms. How about going in the shower, feeling discomfort, getting out, sitting down, waiting a few minutes and going in hoping and praying you’ll be okay? This was my experience and so many whom I’ve spoken to over the years. You can skip over that by using the following:
1- Pick a time of day when you are your most comfortable. Usually after a meal, when you tend to feel more grounded, less shaky, due to morning anxiety (which is often the last to go).
2- Make sure your meal has a lean protein involved in it. All meals and snacks with lean protein along with complex carbs (not all sugar carbs) and good fats. Ex: 2 Eggs, Turkey Bacon, whole grain toast, decaffeinated beverage for breakfast.
3- Watch your breathing. When frightened about attempting something upsetting, one tends to hold their breath. It’s difficult to wash one’s hair and body while doing so. Also, be aware of the tightness that occurs in your neck that can make you feel lightheaded and anxious. Loosen up, like a rag doll, and make sure your stomach muscles are relaxed…let them sag!
4- Most importantly: Watch How You THINK! When frightened, the mind going into “What if” thinking and with those two words comes the Release of Adrenaline, that makes you feel anxiety, panic and uncomfortable in the shower. CHANGE them to “so what” or “Do your worst” When you don’t care, the adrenaline stops flowing and you can feel comfortable again. When at my worst with anxiety and panic I would STOP, and say to myself, “Come on, do your worst, I don’t care if you kill me!” and this complete embrace of whatever was going to happen, dissolved it. It was my power. I used it everywhere.
5- Remember, real control, is letting go of control. That’s when it sneaks back in and you’re in charge again.
After a while you’ll find that you don’t have to concentrate so hard on doing all these things and your mind will drift onto topics that you are interested in…like before all this.
– Take care and know you are not alone. Not at all. If I could do this (and I hated it), so can you!
Ronnie Freedman, PhD
Depersonalization Treatment Center
https://www.depersonalizationtreatmentcenter.com
drfreedman@depersonalizationtreatmentcenter.com
215-635-4700, Will Answer Your Calls 7 Days a Week, 9-9, for your convenience.